When I was growing up, my mom started a song whenever we children were complaining about something - and I found quite annoying: "Die Mama ist an allem schuld" - "Everything is mommy's fault".

Growing up and raising my own children, I have thought about it often. Let me phrase it differently: Children have a deep desire to have perfect parents - and yes, they deserve perfect parents: all-understanding, all-caring, always available and always listening, always nurturing and guiding. And parents have the deep desire to fulfill these expectations.

To recognize (and later also to accept) the difference between this expectation and the reality is probably one of the hardest - and most important - steps of growing up for the children, and it is a necessity for the parents!

Parents live with this expectation, from their children, from the surroundings, and - from themselves! For me, it felt easy (and very necessary) with the newborns: being there 24 hours, no matter what - the only problem being the lack of sleep, of time for myself. But it felt the right thing when they were babies. Setting boundaries, taking care of my own needs, came later, and it felt like we were growing together. 

Letting them go, step by step, and watching them grow, becoming the people they are meant to be: unique, surprising, different from any expectation I could have had, is one of the most fulfilling experiences - shepping naches from the kinder!

Rabbi Gesa Ederberg

Parenting for me is the both the most challenging and most meaningful thing I have and will ever do.

As a parent, I am inspired by the words of the Shema: 

וְשִׁנַּנְתָּ֣ם לְבָנֶ֔יךָ וְדִבַּרְתָּ֖ בָּ֑ם

I loosely translate this as “sit down with your children and speak to them.” The most important statement of our people (Shema) is grounded by these 4 words. The basis of our success over thousands of years are these few profound words. Have a relationship, listen, and teach our story to our children, so that they, when they are in my position in a generation, will be able to do the same. My parents did that for me, and I am doing the same with my children. We are a people based on community and relationships, and those relationships start at home, with our children. By modelling that, we are continuing the very essence of our people in a living way, connecting myself with that very fabric of our people. 

Rabbi Rafi Kaiserblueth

Tanchuma 9 says in relationship to avoteinu Avraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov that maaseh avot simanim l’banim.
Actions of Parents are signs(examples) to children.
I became a Rav because both my father and grandfather were spiritual leaders of the Abayudaya community. My Mom Deborah of blessed memory was my fun and an ardent supporter. I still recall that She attended all school meetings while I was still in primary school and her presence was a big delight and great encouragement. She did everything she could to maintain me in school and her actions were always a positive reinforcement to me. She cared, loved and encouraged us to grow. She was our best friend and filled in for our Dad who had passed on earlier in our life.
No matter what happened she was always by our side.
I have taken lessons from my parents and I think I’m providing similar lessons to my kids. At one of my birthdays, they awarded me with the Title of “world’s Best Abba”

Rabbi Gershom Sizomu

Among my most precious childhood memories are the afternoon snacks at my bobe and zeide’s house after a full day at school.
It was then that my zeide would show me a very thick book in German and another slightly smaller one in Yiddish. In both books was the portrait of a bearded man named Theodor.

That’s where the story would begin:
“This man was a great visionary. He was born in Hungary in 1860, about 120 years ago. Of course, he studied at university and then began working as a journalist. He went on to write many articles for newspapers and books. Herzl saw and understood that there was hatred toward Jews — something called antisemitism — and that is why he decided that the creation of a state for the Jewish people was essential. A medina, a safe refuge for the people of Israel in the Land of Israel.

That’s when he founded the global movement of Zionist Jews and led it, becoming the president of the tnu’a tzionit (Zionist movement). Many people dreamed and longed for a country for the Jews in the land of Abraham Avinu, but few believed that this dream could come true — that one day the people would return to the land flowing with milk and honey. Binyamin Ze’ev Herzl used to say:
אם תרצו – אין זו אגדה — If you will it, it is no dream.

At the age of 12, I had the privilege of traveling to Israel for the first time with my family and visiting each of the places my zeide had mentioned in his wonderful stories. I went to Mount Herzl, and upon arriving at Herzl’s grave, I placed a stone in the name of my zeide, who had already passed away.

The details of Herzl’s biography and all his political activities can now be found in museums, libraries, and online resources. But the warmth and enthusiasm of a grandfather passing down his most cherished convictions to his granddaughter live only within me.

I share with you this pearl that I carry in my soul and invite you to begin collecting your own — to show them to your children so that the Zionist vision may beat within them as well, alongside the celebration and pride in the existence of the State of Israel.

Rabbi Judy Nowominski

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